He wants me. I know he does. I can feel it every single time he looks at me, those dark eyes piercing my exterior. It's as if he can see right through my fair skin to what's underneath.
It's nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time. I don't know what to do about it. Is there anything I *can* do? Oh my, the mind churns with the possibilities.
He watches me work sometimes, as if grading my efforts. That makes me a little nervous. I know what I'm doing. Doesn't he know that by now?
When we sit together in the staff meeting, sometimes he looks at me like he wonders what right I have to be there. I hate it when he does that. It makes me feel unworthy.
Other times, he looks at me and I can practically see those impenetrable eyes melt around the edges. They lose their focus just a bit and I have to wonder what he's thinking at that very moment. Does he want to touch me?
Often, when we're in the same room, he gazes at my hair and I've seen his fingers twitch once or twice. I think he wants to run his hands through it. After all, it's quite different from his own.
I know my coloring is attractive, especially to one like him. He's so different from me. His personality is almost the exact opposite as well. Then why are we attracted to each other?
I wish I knew. Still, I long to feel his hands on me. I want to know his touch intimately. If he ever does touch me that way, I'll probably faint with shock.
Perhaps he will, too.
Are we meant for each other? Or maybe just destined to look from afar and wish? Who knows?
I can only hope that someday soon we figure this out. I don't want to die not knowing and thinking of 'might have beens'.
Sighing, I'm staring at him, the thoughts of at least a thousand days marching through my mind. He notices and rises. Resting a hand on my shoulder, he leans down and asks, "Are you all right, Neelix?"
Nodding and laying my hand over his, my heart near to bursting with joy at his touch, I smile and murmur, "Never better, Doctor."