Undaunted, Part 6


By Britta

*
Chakotay sat in a corner of the mess hall aimlessly pushing the green sludge that passed for the vegetarian entree around his plate. What a day it had been so far. Starting from the moment he woke up to find Tom gone, it had been downhill since. All that business with the Captain, then Ensign Kim and now Tom. He sighed and gave up on eating.
*
Turning to stare out at the stars, he didn't see Harry walk in and shoot him a scathing glance.
*
Tom arrived moments later and took in the scene before him. Harry, glaring at Chakotay while mindlessly chowing down. The older man looking unhappy, unaware of the other's scrutiny.
*
He sighed, knowing it was all his fault. Well, not all, he couldn't blame himself for Harry's problem, whatever the hell it was. But he *could* make things up to Chakotay.
*
Ignoring Harry's surprised expression once he'd been spotted, Tom approached Chakotay and laid his hands on the man's shoulders. He bent down and whispered, "I'm sorry about earlier." He moved to face Chakotay and kissed him lightly.
*
Chakotay nodded and held Tom's hand as he sat down. "Have you got it all sorted out now?"
*
Tom frowned slightly. "No. Well, part of it. I know how I feel and that's the most important thing. I want to be with you and it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. I don't know what Harry's problem is but he'll get over it."
*
"Maybe you should talk to him."
*
"Yeah. I will, once I'm the right mood. Until then, I want to be with you." He leaned over for a longer kiss then smiled. "Feel like helping me chase the evil spirits out of my cabin tonight?"
*
Chakotay grinned, his good humor returning. "Perhaps you can persuade me...how do you plan to do it?" He turned Tom's hand over and ran a fingertip across the palm, dipping between his fingers suggestively.
*
Tom moved his chair parallel to Chakotay's, facing him. He put his arms around the other man and rested his chin on his shoulder then turned to whisper in his ear. "I thought we'd start off by getting you naked."
*
"Mm hmm. What then?"
*
"Oh, I thought I'd get naked, too...."
*

********************

*
Harry stabbed at his dinner with unnecessary force only to be brought up short when he encountered the empty plate. It appeared that he'd been too engrossed in the show unfolding in front of him and had eaten everything without noticing.
*
He shoved his tray aside and drank several mouthfuls of water trying to get the taste of 'whatever' out of his mouth. He took a deep breath and sighed.
*
Why did Tom have to go after Chakotay? Why did it bother him so much more now than earlier?
*
These thoughts churned in his mind as he watched the men being together in what he hoped was as close to a public display of affection that he'd ever see. That kiss in the turbolift earlier had been particularly unnerving even though he'd seen them kissing before.
*
Why was that, he wondered. At first, it was all academic, an abstract concept that had blown his mind. He thought he could deal with it and he had. It was when Tom told him he had taken a bath with Chakotay; that was when he got his first mental picture of the two of them naked together.
*
And that's when it all changed, he realized. All the fun had gone out of setting up the betting pools and now he felt a huge, ever-growing gap in his and Tom's previous rapport.
*
Couldn't Tom see that the Commander was an old man?
*

********************

*
Tom had been whispering erotic nothings into Chakotay's ear for the better part of ten minutes when a sudden, loud sound penetrated their cocoon of concupiscence.
*
They both turned and saw Harry stalking out of the room after noisily dumping his tray.
*
Sighing and hoping that this hadn't ruined the mood he'd tried so hard to build, Tom turned back to Chakotay and peered into his eyes. Seeing nothing but loving lust reflected in the dark depths, he quickly scanned the room and found it empty. Because things were going so well, he decided not to tempt fate at that point by going back to his quarters.
*
Kissing Chakotay lightly, he said, "Stay put. I'll be right back."
*
Chakotay shifted his erection into a more comfortable position and gazed once again at the stars. He was glad that Tom hadn't reacted badly to Harry's departure although he was surprised that the Ensign had been in the mess hall at all.
*
Tom hurried behind Neelix's counter and commed him, "Paris to Neelix."
*
"Neelix here. What I can do for you, Tom?"
*
"Are you somewhere private?"
*
"Yes. I'm in my quarters, just changing so I can go tend bar at the resort. Why?"
*
"I need a favor. I want to borrow your sign and lock up the mess hall for a little bit. Is that OK?"
*
"Of course it is. Go ahead. I know you must have a good reason. Don't worry about a thing. Do what you need to do."
*
"OK. Thanks Neelix. Paris out."
*
Tom severed the connection, took the sign out of the cabinet and went to the doors. He stuck the magnetized sign, saying 'Closed. Caustic cleaning in progress' on the outside of the doors then engaged their locking mechanism from the inside.
*
The entire procedure took less than two minutes. In no more than a few seconds, he was back at Chakotay's side.
*
The dark-haired man looked up at him curiously as he stood in front of him and pulled him to his feet.
*
Tom pushed his own chair over to the other side of the table and very deliberately began to kiss Chakotay senseless. He took his time after dimming the lights and answering the XO's muffled protest with, "It's OK, Neelix owes me one."
*
Chakotay thought idly, one what? Then he relaxed and gave himself over to pleasure. He luxuriated in the feel of Tom's lips on his, the strong arms holding him tight and the hot breath that moved where it would. Hard to believe this was the same spot where he'd heard Kathryn confess to going through menopause just hours ago....
*
Tom's kisses grew more savage and he pawed at Chakotay's uniform, nearly ripping it open so he could get more of the man's skin in his mouth. He pushed up the turtleneck and attached himself to each dark nipple in turn, then worked his way down.
*
Chakotay felt like he was being ravished by a supernatural force. It all happened so fast, so intensely, he couldn't keep up. When he was pushed down onto the table, plates and tray flying off the edge to land gods' knew where, it was more than he could handle. His pants were torn open and a hot tongue began exploring. "Ooooooh, yessss...so good!"
*
That seemed to fuel Tom's passion even more if that were possible and he gripped his CO's hips and swallowed him. Sucking, licking, pulling on the sensitive, tasty brown cock, Tom was in oral heaven. The throbbing hardness in his mouth was so much more satisfying than anything else he'd had in years that once again he wondered why he had waited so long to do this again.
*
Chakotay was so close...so damned close. His legs shook as they hung off the edge of the table and he clung to Tom's head with each and every trembling finger. Gods, it was overwhelming. He couldn't hold back and with a cry to the stars, he came, emptying himself into Tom's warm mouth. A last spasm brought him off the table to almost a sitting position then he relaxed into a soft, pliable pile of bones.
*
Tom stood up and moved around the table then leaned over the supine man to give him a kiss and a huge smile. "You taste good, Chakotay."
*
The worn out First Officer just nodded and closed his eyes while Tom chuckled. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Gods, his balls had never felt this empty. Tom must have a vacuum for a throat....
*
Tom pulled the nearest chair over and plunked down on it then popped up like a jack-in-the-box, "Yeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwwww!"
*
The shrieking shocked Chakotay into red-alert mode and regardless of the fact that his softening dick was hanging out of his pants, he hopped off the table and grabbed Tom, turning him around, only to see a mass of green glop stuck to the seat of his pants and a fork protruding from his left butt cheek.
*
Sighing heavily, he tapped his badge, "Two to beam directly to Sickbay."
*

********************

*
They materialized a moment later, Chakotay holding Tom tightly while he panted and broke into a sweat due to the pain.
*
The Doctor emerged from his office and walked over to the men. "Well, Commander, couldn't you find a more conventional dinner plate?"
*
Tom groaned. "Knock it off, Doc. It was an accident. Could you just deal with it?"
*
The Doctor gripped the fork and yanked it out swiftly causing Tom to yelp with renewed agony. "Come with me," he said, taking Tom by the arm and steering him toward the nearest biobed.
*
As they moved away from Chakotay, the feel of cool air on his cock reminded him that he was exposed. Hoping the Doctor didn't notice, he quickly tucked himself back in and closed his trousers.
*
"Here we are. Lower your pants and bend over, Lieutenant." While Tom did so the Doctor gathered a few things.
*
Tom felt like an idiot but everything was outweighed by the pain.
*
The Doctor returned to Tom's side and beckoned to Chakotay. "Commander, you might as well make yourself useful. Please hold this until I need it." He stuck a regenerator into Chakotay's hand.
*
The Doctor wiped the blood away to reveal four, small, evenly-spaced puncture wounds. He scanned the area and harrumphed a time or two. Holding out his hand for the regenerator, he remarked, "I must say I'm impressed. These are fairly deep. The 'accident' must have involved quite a bit of force."
*
"I'm not telling you what happened. Just fix me up so I can get out of here," Tom stated harshly.
*
"You don't have to tell me a thing. From all the available evidence I'm sure I have a pretty good idea of what you two were doing at the time." The Doctor said smugly as he glanced at Chakotay's groin. "I must ask you to please use caution in the future. I do have other patients, you know."
*
"OK, Doc, anything you say. Are you finished yet?" Tom asked hopefully.
*
One more pass with the regenerator and the Doctor replied, "I am now. However, I recommend a long, hot soak in the tub. Your muscles will thank you later."
*
Tom stood, pulled up his pants and looked around at his rear end. "Uh, Doc? Do you have a towel handy?"
*
The Doctor handed one over with a pained look. "Just put it into the refresher when you're finished."
*
"Thanks." Tom turned to Chakotay. "Want to do the honors?"
*
Chakotay took the towel and cleaned Tom up as best he could then put the towel in the 'fresher and said, "If we go straight to your cabin we shouldn't run into too many people."
*
Tom nodded and grabbed Chakotay's hand. "Let's do it. I've got to change and go clean up the mess hall."
*
As they headed for the door, the Doctor cleared his throat. "Aren't you forgetting something?" He held up the blood-tipped fork.
*
Tom snorted. "Why don't you keep it for a souvenir? It can remind you of the most embarrassing injury you've ever had to treat me for." With a wave, he tugged Chakotay out into the corridor and the doors closed behind them.
*

********************

On the way back from the mess hall, after they'd both cleaned up and changed into civvies, they ran into Harry, in Tom's case, literally.
*
Turning the corner and too wrapped up in Chakotay to notice much of anything, Tom's shoulder bumped against Harry's hard enough to hurt both men. Mumbling apologies to each other, Tom was surprised when Chakotay shoved him in Harry's direction, saying, "Go talk to him. Meet me in our favorite lounge later, OK?"
*
Tom nodded and turned around. "Harry! Wait up."
*
Harry stopped and turned, looking a bit miserable but waited patiently, rolling his eyes as Tom turned back to Chakotay and kissed him.
*
"Thanks." Tom grinned and loped off down the hall catching up to Harry in no time.
*
Chakotay smiled to himself and thought, ah youth. He thanked the Spirits that he was no longer beset by the difficulties that had once plagued him. It was so much easier when you finally found yourself...and accepted who you were.
*

********************

*
"So, uh, where are you going?" Tom asked.
*
"I'm on my way to Sandrine's," Harry answered.
*
"Mind if I tag along? Maybe we can play some pool." Tom wanted to get things settled. He hated not having Harry around to support and sustain him. Friends, good friends were worth their weight in latinum. He wanted to set things right.
*
"Um, it's fine with me but I'll tell you right now, I want to talk to you," Harry said seriously.
*
"O-kaaay. I can handle that." Tom smiled, confident that he could take anything Harry could dish out.
*

********************

*
Chakotay meandered down the corridor and pondered his life. So many changes in such a short time. Of course, it hadn't been smooth sailing by any means but he thought in the end it would probably be worth it.
*
Tom was something very special. His sexual response to the blond had surprised him in that it was more intense than he'd expected. It was unusual for the reality of something to be better than the dreams.
*
He sighed, certain that this was a good thing; a positive sign that what they were doing was right for them. Now, if only they could get past the awkward, fumbling stage where one or the other of them always got hurt. Then, they'd hit their stride and all he'd have to worry about would be the Captain's unpredictability due to her hormonal state of flux.
*

********************

*
Two games of pool down and one beer later, Tom tossed his cue stick onto the table and turned to Harry. "Your game is so far off tonight I wouldn't play you for rations without giving you the same handicap I give Naomi Wildman! What is wrong with you?"
*
Harry just looked upset.
*
Tom sighed heavily. This wasn't going to be easy. Harry the clam had shown up and getting the words out of his mouth would be like pulling teeth. He pointed toward a table away from the crowd and went to get them each another beer.
*
Harry felt weird. His best friend hadn't really changed but he had to tell him what he thought. He didn't want to upset Tom because he'd looked happier than he'd ever seen him but he had to speak his mind. It was for Tom's own good. He sat at the table and waited. He felt like this would be his last chance to make Tom understand that what he was doing was wrong for him.
*
Tom joined Harry, setting their beers down and said, "OK. Spill it. I want to know exactly what it is that bugs you about me being with Chakotay. It can't be that we're both guys, can it?"
*
Harry took a huge swallow of beer and let out a belch disguised as a long exhalation. "No. I'm not that narrow-minded."
*
"Then what is it?" Tom asked heatedly.
*
Harry hesitated. "He's, um, wrong for you."
*
"What? Why? He's everything I've ever wanted but didn't realize: smart, loyal, handsome, stable, caring, good in bed. Give me one good reason why he's 'wrong for me'." Tom stared at Harry, sipping his beer and refusing to back off.
*
Harry retreated in the face of Tom's vehemence. He tried to deflect the topic in another direction without losing it entirely. "I'm not the only one who's upset by this. B'Elanna is very angry with you. She can't believe that you'd go to a man after being with her. You've hurt her feelings badly; especially since she found that statuette in the museum. Doesn't it mean anything to you how your friends feel about this?"
*
As Harry ran out of steam with his lame explanation, Tom realized that there was something more on Harry's mind, something Harry was reluctant
*
to say. He was tired of fencing, he wanted to know and know now, after all, Chakotay was waiting for him and he wanted to be with him right now more than anything.
*
He decided to push, "Harry, what you said is bullshit. I don't care what B'Elanna thinks. I want to know what *you* think. Tell me now or I'll get up and go and we won't have this conversation again."
*
Harry blinked and licked his full lips, swallowed some more beer and leaned toward Tom. "Chakotay is old."
*
Tom sat back, stunned. He couldn't say a thing, couldn't think either. Old? He quaffed more beer and stared at Harry, too shocked to answer immediately.
*
Harry watched the thoughts play across Tom's face with satisfaction. Maybe he'd gotten through to his friend.
*
Tom gently and slowly set the mug down on the table and said, "Explain."
*
Harry warmed to his theme and blurted out, "Tom, he's almost 15 years older than I am! It can't last between you two and if it does, well, if you stay together for very long, the Commander could die and you'd be left alone."
*
Tom sighed and looked intently at the table top for a moment then back up at his friend. "Harry, he may be that much older than you but he isn't that much older than me and I'm the one sleeping with him, not you."
*
"But--" Harry was disappointed, didn't Tom understand?
*
"No buts, ifs or ands either. Harry, we could all die in an instant. There's no guarantee we'll make it another five minutes, let alone all the way back to the Alpha Quadrant." Tom was tired of this conversation. He finished his beer and stood. "I'm going to find my old man now and ask him nicely to fuck me until I scream so that I can feel like I lived through another day. Good night, Harry."
*
Harry sat, confused, as Tom walked out the doors of Sandrine's and headed who knew where. Things hadn't gone at all well, he reflected. Was there something he was missing? Perhaps something he wasn't ready to face up to yet? Maybe the age issue wasn't the only thing that was bothering him....
*

********************

*
Tom was upset. He didn't know if he could tell Chakotay what Harry's problem was. He could hardly believe it himself. As he walked, he calmed down somewhat and began to feel sorry for Harry. Would the man never grow up? Never understand the comfort that emotional stability brings?
*
Chakotay was a rock. Gods willing, the man would be *his* rock forever. He wanted more than anything to feel like he belonged with someone, that he had a reason for being. He needed to feel needed and wanted, to be loved and allowed to love in return.
*
Being allowed to love was a boon. That someone would accept his love was a gift beyond imagining. His body was another story...that tended to be taken as a given--as if that were all he had to offer.
*
He knew Chakotay wanted more than his ass. He'd said as much when asked. Now, Tom went to meet his lover in the little observation lounge where he'd first asked him out.
*
Thinking back to what he'd said to Harry about requesting to be fucked, he admitted to himself that it still sounded like a good idea. Residual pain notwithstanding, he wanted to be taken, loved, owned...and Chakotay was the man to do it.
*

********************

*
Commander Chakotay sat in the small observation lounge and perused the stellar vista in front of him. It was beautiful but deadly, just like the sea and just as fascinating. He was moved by the fragility of life, of love and the endless permutations of each.
*
Out here in the Delta Quadrant, where he could do nothing for a cause he believed in, he was forced to rearrange his priorities. The news that his comrades had not fared well ate at his soul still but there was nothing he could do about that either. It was again time to deal with what was here and now, exclusively.
*
Sometimes it was easy to do so, sometimes not. He wondered if being with Tom would be a help or a hindrance in that respect. Would Tom listen to him when he needed an ear? He didn't know, yet.
*
There was so much he didn't know about Tom and he was half afraid to try and find out lest he lose him in the attempt. Spirits, he'd been alone for too long; the fact that he was worried about things like these told him so.
*

********************

*
Tom stood outside the door to what he thought of as 'their' lounge and absently rubbed his butt. He felt a slight twinge in the lower part of his left cheek but figured it would go away soon enough.
*
He was hesitant to go inside, he didn't know what to say to Chakotay. How could he tell the man that Harry thought he was old? The fact that Harry's opinion was immaterial didn't matter. He didn't want to see Chakotay's feelings hurt for no reason.
*
He decided to play it by ear, just see how things went and with any luck he could avoid the subject altogether. They had more than enough other topics to cover anyway. Tom grinned to himself as he thought of what those might be and triggered the door open.
*

********************

*
The door opened and Chakotay stood up. Seeing it was Tom, he held out his arms in welcome.
*
Tom moved quickly into his lover's embrace and rejoiced that Chakotay was so affectionate. He loved this. He needed it. Especially right now.
*
Chakotay watched as Tom's eyes closed and he felt him relax in his arms. Why did everything have to be so difficult? He had the feeling that Tom and Harry still hadn't worked everything out.
*
What could be the problem? Was Harry jealous? Did he want Tom for himself? That wouldn't surprise him at all...who wouldn't want Tom?
*
He shook his head and tried to put these thoughts behind him. He'd been there and done that too many times in the past. Now was now, with a whole new set of challenges to face.
*
"Tom? Are you OK?" he whispered as he stroked the long back enclosed in the clean, white shirt that he'd picked out for Tom earlier.
*
A kiss on his tattoo was his answer, followed by a small sigh, then, "Yeah. I'm fine. How 'bout you?"
*
"I'm OK. Did you and Harry get things straightened out? Friends again?"
*
"Let's just say I'm not worried about it anymore and leave it at that. Besides, there are other things I want to talk to you about." He followed up this diversionary tactic with a nibble on Chakotay's ear lobe.
*
"Mmm, like what?" If Tom kept this up, he thought, I won't want to talk at all....
*
"Like what took you so long to get breakfast this morning...." He whispered into Chakotay's ear as his hands traveled to the man's waist encircling him.
*
Resting his chin on Tom's shoulder, Chakotay replied, "I had a chat with the Captain. She'll explain at tomorrow's staff meeting but I'll tell you now that she's going through the change of life and having a few difficulties making the transition."
*
"So that's what's been bugging her lately." Tom rubbed against Chakotay a time or two then went on, "Hmm, now I really have to wonder if she took all the dildos."
*
"Tom!" Chakotay pulled back to look into highly amused blue eyes. He tried hard to suppress his grin and growled, "You are skating on very thin ice, Mister. I don't need mental pictures like that floating through my mind."
*
"Oh, come on. Why not? It'll sure help liven up our staff meetings and then--"
*
Chakotay could take no more. He shut Tom's runaway mouth the best way he knew how, by occupying it with his own. When he decided breathing was quickly becoming a higher priority, he stopped and sucked in a huge breath. Letting it out, he said raggedly, "I'd really like to continue this *conversation* elsewhere."
*
Tom gazed back, eyes glittering and suggested, "Let's go to my cabin."
*
"Are you sure you want to risk it?" Chakotay inquired teasingly.
*
Tom grinned. "Don't you know by now that I like to live dangerously?"
*
Chakotay just smiled as Tom guided him out the door. What had he been thinking about earlier? New challenges? Well, he was game for this one.
*

END OF PART 6

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Undaunted, Part 7