Taming of Tom Paris, Part 16


By Britta

*
My bravado was short-lived.
*
I went, I hiked, I wore myself out or tried to anyway. But I couldn't stop thinking. How was I going to explain myself to Tom? I'd promised to talk to him earlier and my spirit guide had let me know that she wasn't going to talk to me unless I talked to him.
*
I didn't feel so overwhelmed anymore but I dreaded trying to verbalize my feelings. What if he laughed at me? What if he lost respect for me? What if he didn't trust my judgement any longer? What would I do then? Would he leave me if he knew the truth...that I wasn't always correct in my assumptions?
*
Maybe he could forgive my mistakes. I knew I'd made some. I just wasn't sure what they were. At this point, as far as Tom was concerned, I was questioning everything. The rest of the ship's crew could wait awhile before I let them into the arena to take mental pot-shots at me. And everyone else? Well, they were in the Alpha Quadrant and so far out of my reach that I refused to spend precious time worrying about them.
*
I could see things starting to spiral out of control. It might be better to concentrate on Tom for now and leave the rest of my concerns for later.
*
Deciding I'd had enough exercise, I called up my mountain hot springs program and settled in for a long soak. I closed my eyes and drifted, concentrating on the heat surrounding me, soothing my muscles.
*
After awhile I heard something and opened my eyes to see Tom stripping off his uniform and smiling at me. "Want some company?"
*
"Sure. What are you doing here?"
*
"The Doc let me out early and I thought I'd surprise you."
*
"Oh. Well, come on in."
*
"How much time do we have?"
*
"About an hour. I set reminder alarms to go off at 15 minute intervals for the last 60 minutes and I just heard the first one."
*
He eased into the water and approached me. "If I'd known that, I'd have brought some wine along."
*
"Wine? What for?"
*
"Two reasons. One, I remember the first time you brought me here and we had wine then. Two, to loosen your tongue." He stood in front of me and leaned in for a kiss.
*
"Loosen my tongue, huh? I take it you want me to talk."
*
"Yup. Spill the beans as they say. Tell me everything." He settled next to me and held my hand. He grinned, "I'm not going anywhere until I understand what's been turning you into a basket case lately."
*
Basket case? Spirits, I loved his turns of phrase even if I didn't understand all of them. "It's hard to know where to start."
*
"Try the beginning. Something happened that made you want to sleep on the floor. What was it?"
*
I let out a long sigh. "Something you said on your vid made me stop and think and--"
*
"Damn!" He cut me off angrily.
*
"What?"
*
"I knew it was my fault. I should've never given it to you. I should've never made it in the first place."
*
"Tom, stop it. It is NOT your fault. That vid is a blessing in disguise. It and you are teaching me valuable lessons I doubt I would have been able to learn on my own. So don't blame yourself because I'm a thick-headed student. OK?"
*
He just glanced at me sideways.
*
Determined to get it over with, I forged ahead. "Anyway, what it amounted to was I realized I didn't know you as well as I thought and that led me to wonder what right I had in presuming to know what you needed or what was best for you. It became clear to me then that I'd taken a lot for granted, never questioning my belief in the correctness of my judgement. I started to doubt myself and it spread until I doubted the wisdom of my actions regarding you and everything else."
*
I stopped and waited anxiously for his response. What would he do? Would he laugh, get out and leave, punch me in the nose? I honestly didn't know what to expect.
*
The silence stretched until I couldn't take it any longer and I muttered, "Well, you wanted to know."
*
He turned to face me and said softly, "You had a crisis of confidence."
*
I just nodded.
*
He moved around until he was sitting in my lap. "I understand what you're going through. I've been there more times than I care to admit. But since I've never been as sure of myself as you, I can only imagine that this has rocked you to your foundations and knowing you, you've probably taken on huge amounts of guilt and let your fears take over and in general have let it consume you. Am I right?"
*
"Yeah." I couldn't believe this. How did he know all that? Was I that transparent to everyone or only to him?
*
"Cha, it's not the end of the world. Believe me. I've eaten enough slices of humble pie to know the recipe by heart. You'll deal with this the way you do everything else, successfully."
*
"I will, huh? You seem pretty sure of that."
*
"I am sure. I *know* you. Maybe better than you know me. I have a lot more faults than you do and that gives me an edge. I can see stuff you can't."
*
"You may have more faults but mine are worse. I'm as flawed as anyone else, maybe more so because of my arrogance. Why you haven't told me to fuck off by now, I'll never know." My head was swimming. The relief that he hadn't laughed or left was overpowering.
*
"I'd never tell you that. I will tell you that you need to look at the things you've done right. It will help restore your faith in yourself."
*
"When did you become so...so perceptive and understanding? Have I been blind that long?"
*
He chuckled and kissed me on the cheek. "I've always had those qualities but I never knew how to develop them until I started spending time with you and let you teach me how to focus and think about things. You can thank yourself for the changes you see in me." He gloated at having made such a good point.
*
"That's another thing I worry about. The things we do together. I'm still confused about certain aspects of our relationship, about what you need, mainly because I've never let it get this far with anyone else."
*
He looked at me curiously, "I thought we already had this talk. I love what we do. Yes, even when you punish me. OK, I admit I'm not into the pain part of it but I love why you do it. It shows me that you love me enough to give me what I need."
*
I just stared at him not quite believing that last statement.
*
He sighed with exasperation and demanded, "Listen to me. Have I ever *once* used the safe words you gave me? Have I?"
*
"No. But I should have given them to you a lot earlier. That was a mistake on my part."
*
"So what? Even if you had, I wouldn't have used them. Ever. I'm telling you now that I have no regrets. None at all. If I had really wanted you to stop doing something, I would have stopped you. So don't start flipping out again."
*
"If you say so. I'm still not convinced but we can discuss this another time. OK?"
*
"OK." Just then the chime sounded. "We'd better get out."
*
"Why?"
*
"You haven't noticed? That's the third one I've heard. It's time to go, Cha. C'mon, let's go home."
*
Once back in our quarters, life appeared to return to normal. Tom undressed both of us and helped me into my robe. He was quieter than usual but I put that down to the fact that he was still worried about me.
*
We ate dinner and I expected him to get dressed and go off to see the Captain for their nightly session of bowling alley building. When I checked the time and found it was past 2000, I had to ask what was going on. "Tom, why aren't you meeting with the Captain tonight? Have you two finished the project already?"
*
"No, not yet."
*
We cleared the table together and I went to sit on the sofa. Tom joined me and curled up in his favorite position.
*
"I asked her if I could take a break from our project. I didn't tell her why so don't worry about that. I just explained that I needed to spend some time at home. She agreed and so here I am. I need to be with you tonight, especially in light of what you told me. Cha, damn it, I can't believe you tried to shut me out."
*
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I was just trying not to upset you. Will you forgive me?" I was concerned that he didn't understand.
*
He peered up at me and said, "Yes, I will, on one condition."
*
"What's that?"
*
"Don't ever do it again. I can handle anything you throw at me. You ought to know that by now. Chakotay, there is *nothing* that will make me stop loving you."
*
I looked down at his serious expression and replied, "I believe you. I won't try to go it alone again. That is, if you're willing to listen to me when I need to ramble and vent my worries."
*
He smiled at me indulgently, "Vent and ramble away. My ears are yours. As is the rest of me, in case you've forgotten...."
*
A fingertip eased inside my robe and circled one of my nipples then trailed lower, parting my robe. He untied the belt and pushed the robe aside exposing me to the air. Then he wiggled closer and began licking the sensitive skin just below my navel.
*
I threaded the fingers of my left hand through his hair and let my right hand rest on his hip. Little nips and sucks accompanied his tongue action until he zeroed in on my navel and french-kissed it until I was squirming with delight. I allowed him certain liberties at times but he knew what the limits were. He stayed away from my rapidly growing cock until given permission.
*
My grip on his head tightened and he stopped teasing me, turning to gaze up at me questioningly. I stroked his cheek gently and stated quietly, "Kneel for me, Tom."
*
I released him and spread my legs. He gracefully dropped to the floor in front of me. I nodded and he opened my robe the rest of the way. I allowed him a moment to look at me then leaned forward and kissed him, my tongue bathing his, engaging it in a loving, fleshy sword fight.
*
Eventually, I pulled away and relaxed back against the couch. He bent his head and began licking the inside of my left thigh. He drew out the journey to my cock for as long as possible, paying attention to both my legs and balls.
*
Finally, he took me into his mouth and I moaned. I looked at him, on his knees before me and relished the sight. My hard, brown cock moving in and out of those beautiful pink lips of his was a picture that turned me on almost as much as when I fucked him. He was so pale and pink, quite a contrast to me and I loved it.
*
He concentrated on giving me pleasure. He knew just how to maximize the sensations. His hands gripped my thighs, his thumbs rubbing my balls in concert with his sucking.
*
I didn't distract him but rested my hands lightly on his shoulders. He made it last a long time, not bringing me to climax until I told him to do so. When I came with a heartfelt groan, he swallowed every drop, cleaned me with his ever-busy tongue then rested his head in my lap while I recovered.
*
It took more than a few minutes for me to regain my composure. The emotional stress I'd been under had taken a toll on me. I knew I didn't have the energy, physically or mentally to take him that night but I could still make love to him in other ways. I stroked his hair and let him rest there for a little longer then said softly, "Thank you. I needed that."
*
He mumbled against my thigh, "I know you did."
*
I rubbed his neck and shoulders for a minute and said, "Come back up here."
*
I helped him to rise and saw his erection bobbing in front of me. I reached for his knees and massaged them thinking I really needed to remember to give him a pillow to kneel on when he did that for me.
*
I took his cock into my hands and gave it a kiss. He said, "Cha, you're wiped out. Don't worry about me, it'll keep."
*
He tried to move away but I said, "I won't leave you like this, especially after all you've done for me and all you've had to put up with the last couple of days. So just sit here and do what I tell you."
*
He sighed, "Yes, sir."
*
I arranged him comfortably, supporting him with my right arm and tilted him back so that he was half-lying, half-sitting. I stroked his cock a time or two and captured his lips with my own. I played with his chest, nibbled an ear lobe and bent to bite his nipples until he was panting.
*
I slipped my finger into his mouth and he sucked it as hungrily as he had my cock earlier. I felt his tongue and teeth briefly then pulled it out and slowly slid it into his ass. I kissed him again and intoned, "Touch yourself for me. Let me see you give yourself pleasure."
*
He brought his right hand up to his waiting, dripping cock and I held him tightly, observing his face as I allowed him to do as he pleased.
*
I moved my lips between his mouth and neck, occasionally licking the nearest nipple and watched him with great joy. He was so damned beautiful and he felt wonderful in my arms.
*
Slowly I moved my finger in and out of him while caressing his balls with my thumb. His hand moved up and down his swollen erection faster and faster, pumping harder, squeezing tighter until I said, "Come for me, Tom. Now," and he came copiously all over himself.
*

I removed my finger from within him and licked his chest clean, still supporting him with my arms. When he recovered, I kissed him, sharing his taste with him as he had done with me earlier.
*
He wrapped his arms around me and laid his head on my shoulder. "Why do you do such nice things for me?"
*
I kissed him again, this time on the top of his head and answered, "If you don't know why by now, after today, then you really do need your head examined."
*
"Need my head examined? Where did you get that line?"
*
"From your vid." I yawned.
*
He snuggled up to me and remarked, "It's going to take you forever to watch that thing isn't it?"
*
"Probably." I yawned again.
*
He suddenly moved out of my embrace and got to his feet. Pulling me up to stand beside him, he hugged me and said, "I think it's time for you to get some sleep."
*
I was beyond arguing and let him lead me to the bedroom. He took off my robe and guided me into bed, curling up around me, as if protecting me from any evils that might lie in wait. Just as I was drifting off I felt him rise and leave me.
*
The next day everything seemed fine. Outwardly nothing had changed. Tom and I managed to have our meals together and stopped by the resort to see who was there. Duty-wise, we both had a typical day but I felt different inside. I caught myself seeing people in a new light. It almost seemed surreal at times. I wondered if this new awareness would last.
*
Tom met up with the Captain and I went home alone. Grateful for the solitude, I meditated for an hour and returned to this reality much refreshed in spirit. I even felt strong enough to tackle Tom's vid again.
*
I decided to forego the wine and popped the disk into the viewer determined to face whatever he had to say without the aid of a drink.
*
"Playback."
*
"He's working late so I have a little time to do this. A lot's happened since yesterday." He paused to unfasten his jacket then went on, "I guess I should tell it in order. First, I went through with it. I paid my penalty and I'll say one thing, I will *never* be dumb enough to agree to another one again. Deals are one thing but his idea of a penalty is painful.
*
"It made me mad at first then I realized it was his heavy-handed way of teaching me a lesson. Heavy-handed, fuck I can't believe I said that, I didn't intend to make a pun.
*
"Anyway, he didn't need to be so hard on me but I guess he doesn't know that I understand how seriously he takes all this. So, just as I'm about to tell him what I thought of his penalty, he ups and tells me that he loves me! Shit, what could I do? I know he meant it but he picked a fine time to tell me.
*
"So I got all mushy back and forgot to stay mad and we went off for dinner. When we got back to his place I got treated to more first-class sex and then off he goes and surprises me again. This time, right in the middle of things, he gives me safe words...I can't believe I actually remember them. At the time, I was hotter than I've ever been, brain on shore leave, the whole thing. But they're such awful safe words I guess they'd be impossible to forget. Maybe that's why he chose them.
*
"And now, he's got some plan cooking in that mind of his to deal with this boring part of space we're traveling through. He said he'd tell me at dinner."
*
His expression softened. "I guess the most important thing is that he told me he loves me. It felt great to hear the words. Part of me doesn't quite believe it yet. I wonder where we'll be in another month? Gods, at the rate we're going, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up one morning to find out I'd married him!" With that, he laughed and the entry ended.
*
Now, I wanted a glass of wine. Being smacked in the face with two mistakes in one sitting was more than enough. I'd already figured out the error I'd made by waiting too long to give him the safe words but the penalty...I had no idea that it had made him angry. Well, all I could do about it now was apologize.
*
I replicated some wine and pondered the rest of what he'd said. It was obvious to me that I needed to be more careful. That much was for sure. His comment about waking up married to me made me wonder if Tom ever considered taking that step. I'd have ask him one of these days. If he wanted me to marry him, I'd do it. Hell, I'd do just about anything he wished, if he asked. I wondered if he knew that. He should, by now.
*
I debated on whether or not to view more of his vid but decided not to as he'd come home soon and I didn't want him to catch me in the act again.
*
I hoped that he and the Captain would finish their project soon. I missed being with Tom in the evenings. I knew this situation afforded me the opportunity to view his vid but still, we needed time to socialize together.
*
It would help me to put things into perspective, being with others. Maybe tomorrow night I should go out alone and see if my new state of mind would tag along. It might be very interesting if it did.
*
Tom breezed through the door looking very self-satisfied and made sure I knew he was home on time.
*
I stood up and got him a glass of wine along with a refill for myself.
*
When he exited the bedroom he came to me and gave me a big hug and kiss.
*
"We're almost done! Only a couple of more days and then we can go bowling!"
*
"Oh? You'll be open for business soon?" I smiled at his anticipation.
*
"Oh yeah! Kathryn and I have it all planned out. Wanna hear the details?" He swallowed a mouthful of wine and started pacing.
*
'Kathryn?' Hmm, I was suddenly reminded of how desirable Tom was. It took me a moment to recall that she was the safest female aboard ship that Tom could spend time with, attractiveness not counting at all.
*
I relaxed and replied, "Of course. Tell me what you have planned."
*
He stopped in front of me and set down his glass of wine. Eyes, lit as though powered by electricity, gazed at me excitedly. "We're going to have leagues! Different teams! Just think of it...everyone can play."
*
I sipped my remaining wine thoughtfully. Leagues? What was he talking about?
*
"Oh. I'm glad everyone will be able to participate. Is there anything else?" I asked warily.
*
"Oh yeah! We have sign up sheets for everyone. They're being sent to their private terminals. In a day or two Kath and I hope to get the crew sorted out."
*
'Kath?' What could possibly be going on between them? I knew sex was out of the question so why did he persist in calling her by those names? I stomped my irrational jealousy into mush along with my fears and hoped for the best.
*
"It sounds like fun," I said weakly.
*
Tom didn't seem to notice my lack of enthusiasm.
*
"It's gonna be great! Cha, we've got it all worked out. I know exactly how to run it." He took another swig of his wine. "It'll be like a pool tournament...."
*
I just sighed and downed the remainder of my wine. I contemplated getting another glass but decided against it. He was off and running. There wasn't much I could do except wait until he ran out of steam. I could've attempted to coerce him into relaxing but I had a feeling that wouldn't work.
*
He rambled on about the difficulties in programming bowling balls to fit a variety of non-human fingers and other assorted problems, like what to offer for snacks. Then he waxed enthusiastically over the fact that he'd managed to convince the Captain that a full bar, complete with waitpersons on roller-skates was absolutely necessary.
*
I sat there and listened patiently until finally he stopped speaking long enough to finish his wine. He smiled at me and set his glass down. Offering his hand, I took it and he pulled me up for a hug. I rubbed his back and felt him relax somewhat. It was nice to see him so happy but I had to wonder about the roller-skates. Visions of collisions and drinks flying everywhere flitted through my mind and I hoped he'd taken those possibilities into consideration.
*
"I'm glad that you're almost done with the program. I've missed you in the evenings. It'll be nice to spend some time together before we start working different shifts."
*
"Different shifts? When will that happen?"
*
"In another week or so."
*
"How long will it last?"
*
"About a week."
*
"A whole week? Do we have to?"
*
"Yes. The crew needs to be rotated."
*
He sighed and kissed me. I patted his butt and whispered in his ear, "Where did you go last night?"
*
"Last night when?"
*
"I felt you get out of bed just before I fell asleep."
*
"Oh. That. I made another entry for you and added to my personal log. I know how to do it now without waking you up. It's all a matter of volume control."
*
"I see." Well that made me feel better. What with all the crazy thoughts that had been running through my mind lately I wasn't sure what I expected him to be doing, sneaking out of bed like that.
*
"I thought you were sound asleep. Did you hear anything?"
*
"Not a syllable. I was out like a light last night." I reassured him with a kiss.
*
He kissed me back and that led to more kisses and a lot of rubbing up against me on his part. It appeared that he still had some energy left over from his earlier excitement. Perhaps he needed to have it fucked out of him. I smiled to myself at the thought. It had been a few days since I'd taken him that way and just thinking about it made my cock twitch with anticipation.
*
"Tom?"
*
"Hmm?" He landed a quick kiss on my neck and looked at me curiously.
*
I stared at him hard and stated, "I am going to fuck you until you beg for mercy."
*
He gulped and sucked in a deep breath, "Oh?"
*
I gripped his ass with both hands and felt him tense. In the mood I was in, exercising my authority over him felt very, very good. The last remnants of my earlier fit of jealousy came back to haunt me and I determined that driving all thoughts of bowling and 'Kath' out of his head was an excellent idea.
*
I started by latching onto the soft skin at the base of his throat and sucking hard. His hands clutched my shoulders and his breath came out in a hiss. I ran my hands up and down his sides, pressing his flesh as if gauging his strength by his muscle mass alone. I gripped him hard enough in places to leave finger marks.
*
He didn't complain. He didn't make a sound. He just closed his eyes and tipped his head back. I slid my leg between his, nudging them apart. I stroked his hips and thighs with my fingertips then moved up to his chest. I wrapped one arm around him to hold him steady while touching all his hot spots with my other hand. I watched his expression change and felt his cock harden against me.
*
I pulled his head forward and down to kiss him. Instead of the bruising kiss he expected, I licked his lips until they parted for me, then sucked his tongue into my mouth and played with it, biting gently.
*
His hands never let up from their iron grip on my shoulders, as if he were afraid to move them.
*
When I released his mouth I grabbed one of his hands and began sucking on his wrist then biting the flesh at the base of his thumb.
*
He dropped his head to rest on my shoulder and whimpered, "Oh, more...please, sir...." He was practically humping my leg at that point and I thought getting horizontal was called for if I intended to make him beg for it. And I did.
*
Letting go of him, I stepped back a pace and looked him over carefully. He was mine and he knew it. The knowledge shone in his gaze. He would do anything I said.
*
"Put your hands behind your head."
*
He complied. I saw how this position had its advantages. I could easily trace his ribs, which I did, with my tongue. His erection stood proudly, waiting to be tended to but I had other ideas.
*
"Turn around."
*
He did so and I admired this view of him for a minute or two, letting him wait and wonder. I let my fingers glide down his spine, feeling every bump and dip. Opening my robe a little so that my hard cock could peek out, I ordered, "Spread your legs."
*
When he moved them apart to my satisfaction, I slipped my cock in between them, beneath his balls. He gasped at the sensation of our flesh sliding together and apart as I moved back and forth slowly. I reached around him and fondled his nipples while I nipped a trail along prominent shoulder blades.
*
"Tell me what you want," I said softly.
*
He exhaled a long-held breath and murmured, "Anything. Just so long as it's more."
*
I pinched a nipple hard and he shuddered in my embrace. Time to fuck him. I let him go stating, "Go lie on the bed, on your back and wait for me."
*
I stayed in the living area for a few minutes, putting the wine glasses into the recycler and regaining my control. I put his vid away on the off chance he'd have the energy to get up in the middle of the night after I got through with him.
*
Eventually, I stood in the doorway to the bedroom and ordered lights at half in there and off in the living area. He lay there trying hard to stay still while I removed my robe and moved to the foot of the bed.
*
I took his left foot into my hand and worked my finger in and out between each of his toes then turned and bit his instep. He jerked convulsively and drew his other leg up as if to spare it the same fate.
*
I began to suck and he began moaning. I moved to his ankle and he moaned even louder. I turned my attention to his right foot and sucked his big toe into my mouth. That started the litany of "Please, oh yes...." that didn't stop until I reached his inner thighs when it changed to "More! Oh gods! More!"
*
By the time I moved past his angry-looking erection up to tease his stomach, he was flailing around madly, looking with half a brain for the lube.
*
I took pity on him, somewhat, and as I leaned down to plunder his mouth, I snatched the tube out from under the pillow. I eased onto my knees and thought I must be doing something right: he was flushed from head to toe with arousal and obviously enjoying himself.
*
I slathered my cock quickly with the lube then took my sweet time making him ready. I kept up a continuous assault on his most sensitive nerve endings while loosening his internal muscles and enjoying the feel of his interior skin. Gods, he felt marvelous inside...and outside.
*
He was still pleading for something but I couldn't tell what anymore. I didn't care. He'd get all I had to give. Tossing the lube aside, I entered him, pulled back a bit and thrust hard. He all but screamed.
*
Taking that as a good sign, I kept it up. His legs were over my shoulders and his hands were digging into my back. It didn't bother me at all. If I drew blood I wouldn't care. I just knew I had to fuck him so hard that he wouldn't ever forget it.
*
So I did. I finally came with a frenzied shout that must've been heard all over the ship. Tom had erupted moments before and was now practically folding in on himself.
*
I moved out of him and grabbed a towel we had close by. Cleaning us up, I leaned down to kiss him into wakefulness momentarily. "Are you OK?"
*
"'m fine. I love you." He snuggled closer to me.
*
I took him at his word and feeling much better than I had in days, doused the lights and fell asleep promptly.

END OF PART 16

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Taming of Tom Paris, Part 17