The next day, Captain Janeway asked me if I thought Tom would be interested in helping her create a holographic bowling alley. I told her I thought Tom would enjoy it a great deal. He liked working on projects like those. Knowing him, I couldn't wait to see what he'd come up with.
I spent the afternoon in my office, having finished with the usual routine in record time. Transiting this quiet region of space allowed us more time to spend on private pursuits. I granted myself an hour or so to do nothing but daydream. I let my mind go where it wished and found it to be a refreshing exercise, almost a form of meditation in itself.
I ended my mental vacation when Tom commed me. "Paris to Chakotay."
"Chakotay here. What can I do for you, Tom?" I answered vaguely.
"Are you ever coming home for dinner?" he asked.
I quickly checked the time and replied, "On my way. Chakotay out."
When I entered my quarters, a naked and nearly tumescent Tom descended upon me with a bone-crushing hug and a very wet kiss. I guessed this was his way of telling me he'd been good again and had foregone his usual mid-day masturbation session.
I knew Tom was very highly sexed and also quite a few years younger than me. I counted on this new restriction of mine to do at least three things: give him a lesson in the joys of delaying sexual gratification, keep him eager, hot and ready for me and intensify both the nature and frequency of our sexual encounters. It appeared to be working well.
He was all but panting as he undressed me. I noticed his fingertips lingered on my skin as he removed my clothing. I felt like a giant piece of fruit being peeled very gently so as not to be bruised. He eyed me hungrily and I smiled to myself thinking that although he'd managed fine yesterday, now it was getting to him.
When I was nude, he picked up my clothes and took them into the bedroom. He returned quickly and brought me my robe then went back to finish his task. I poured myself a half glass of wine and stood looking at the stars whizzing by while contemplating the evening before me.
I knew exactly what I was going to do.
Tom came back and stood by my side quietly for a few moments then asked, "Are you ready for dinner?"
I turned to him and offered him the rest of my wine, which he accepted. "Yes, I can eat something now."
We walked toward the table and Tom made a detour to set the wine glass down on the tiny countertop near the replicator. Then he picked up the woven placemats he was going to use and moved toward the table.
I intercepted him with a quick grab to his crotch. He nearly jumped out of his skin, then halted instantly when I said in a low voice, "You told me this was mine."
I squeezed his cock gently. It hardened further.
After a sharp intake of breath, he rasped, "Yes, sir."
I cupped his balls with my other hand. "You said I could do anything I want with any part of you." A simple statement of fact.
"Yes, sir." He grew impossibly harder as his breath quickened and his eyes widened.
I picked him up bodily and laid him on the dinner table, yanking the placemats out of his hands and wadding them up, stuffed them beneath his head.
"Then be still and let me enjoy my appetizer," I ordered as I pulled up a chair and lifted his legs to rest his feet on my shoulders.
I breathed on him as he had once done to me and then proceeded to make a meal of his nether regions. I licked slowly, sensually, then nibbled and nipped, driving him wild. Finally, I sucked and he came loudly. He nearly bucked himself off the table. I sincerely hoped the placemats under his head were thick enough to prevent the headache he surely would have otherwise earned by his last move.
A few moments later, he sighed hugely and sat up, removing his heels from their perch, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the table. I gripped his hip with one hand while the other moved to the middle of his lower back, offering support.
He said, "Wow! What was that for?"
I stood, closing my robe more tightly around me. Pushing my chair aside, I kissed him thoroughly. Sitting on the table the way he was made him shorter than me for once. I peered down into sated blue eyes and stated seriously, "I am the only one who will have the privilege of giving you that kind of pleasure. I told you before that I don't share. And I don't. Not even with you anymore, unless I cannot be with you for some reason. Then and only then will I allow you to please yourself except when I wish to watch. Do you now understand my reasons for what I told you the night before last?"
He gulped, then whispered, "Yes, sir."
"Good." I kissed him again, savoring his taste, then I let him rise and set the table for dinner. He looked at me directly before he scooped up the placemats and cautiously asked, "What about you?"
"What about me?" I retorted.
"Am I allowed to return the favor?" He glanced down at my groin meaningfully.
"No. Not now. Let's eat."
"OK. Whatever you say," he responded dubiously. He then served dinner, bringing us plates, utensils and glasses of wine. He looked at me from time to time with a strange expression on his face.
When I couldn't take it any longer I demanded, "What's on your mind?"
He scowled at me briefly and said, "I don't like it when you do this to me."
Scooping up the last bite of my meal, I responded curiously, "Don't like what? What did I do to you that you didn't like?"
He pouted. I swear there was no other word to describe his expression. "I don't like it when you won't allow me to please you. I don't like it when I don't understand why you do what you do."
"I see. Would it help if I told you that I know you're going to meet with the Captain this evening and I didn't want you to go near her or any other attractive person without feeling completely relaxed?" I winked at him to let him know that I understood the situation.
He gaped at me and then laughed out loud. "So you know about the special project the Captain asked me to work on?"
"Of course I do." I took a sip of wine and continued, "Who do you think she asked if you would be interested?"
"You." He stated firmly.
I nodded and drank more wine. "I figured you would have some fun so yes, before you ask, you have my permission to go play for a couple of hours each evening for as long as it takes. I have plans of my own to contend with while you're busy programming only gods know what into that bowling alley scenario."
We rose from the table and cleared up. Putting the last dish into the recycler, he looked at me intently for a long moment then asked tartly, "So what are you going to do? Why don't you want me around? Is there someone else you have your eye on?" He tried to make it a joke but couldn't quite pull it off.
"Good gods and goddesses! How the hell do you get these insane ideas in your head?" I practically roared at him. Maybe he *had* bounced his bean off the table a little too hard earlier.... "Tom, listen to me. I plan on viewing more of your 'after I'm dead' vid. That's all I had in mind to do while you were out this evening. OK?" I sighed heavily and watched his expression hoping to see that he believed me.
"Oh. OK. But what about...you know...." he stared pointedly at my groin.
I snorted, "I'll fuck you later, I promise. Now go get dressed and have a good time arguing with the Captain over what features you want to put into the new holoprogram."
"Yes, sir. And I'll hold you to that." He smiled at me as if I were the most amusing thing he'd ever seen.
I moved to stand beside him and smacked him sharply on the ass. "I want you back here by 2200. Got that?"
"Oh yes, sir. I've got it."
I kissed him and pushed him toward the bedroom. Then I retrieved that enticing yet disturbing vid.
He came out dressed in civvies, very conservative ones, no less and I smiled with approval. He glanced at my groin again and sighed melodramatically. I just shook my head and stared at him, daring him to cross the line.
He didn't. Not this time.
After he left, I poured myself another glass of wine, pulled up the marker on this dreaded vid and sat back to see what I would find out about him next.
Tom appeared on the screen looking tired. He squirmed in his chair. "I have to keep this short because I can't stand sitting down for very long. I fucked up royally today and Chakotay paddled my ass. Hard. Believe it or not, he was actually doing me a favor. It was either this or spend the night in the brig which really would've been awful. I didn't expect this at all. I mean, I knew I was in deep shit the second I let that jerk Dalby get to me but I never figured I'd get my butt blistered for it. I wonder why the Captain let him do it?
"Anyway, he said some pretty strange things to me afterward and told me to go look up some weird sexual practices in the lifestyle database. I wonder about him sometimes. They say still waters run deep. Well, we'll see. I guess I'll have something interesting to read about tonight. That should stave off the boredom of being confined to quarters until the morning shift starts.
"I'll say one thing about Chakotay: he knows how to use a paddle. He had Dalby in serious pain. It hurt me too, I won't deny it but the things he did to me after it was over almost made up for it." He grinned and shifted his position for the hundredth time. Then his face began to turn pink and the entry ended abruptly.
I realized he had deliberately cut it off here. I wondered why. What was there that he didn't want me to see? I paused the vid and stared into my wine thinking about that incident. I was surprised that Tom was so matter of fact about it. I thought he'd be more upset or disturbed, at least in private.
Well at least he hadn't been angry, he'd told me the truth about that at the time. One thought led to another and I realized that Tom had always been honest with me whenever I asked him questions about the things we did together. He's very straightforward about most stuff although I know some of his desires embarrassed him at first and some still do so much that we haven't discussed them openly yet.
Perhaps my viewing this vid would help us achieve a deeper level of intimacy. It certainly had taken a lot of courage for Tom to offer it to me. Maybe he felt the need to grow closer and thought this was a safe and indirect way to provoke me into making that happen. Hmm, this suddenly became something else for me meditate about.
I drank a little more wine and restarted the vid.
He appeared on the screen again, wearing the same shirt as before. "I'm back, decided to add some more to tonight's entry since I feel better now that I've had my butt frozen solid by the biggest ice pack I could replicate.
"I've begun the reading Chakotay recommended; you know, on the Dominance and submission stuff. I'm trying really hard to keep an open mind but all I can say is that if he wants to treat me like that, then he is fucking insane!
"There is no way I would *ever* let someone do some of those things to me. OK, I'll admit I've only read about the really painful stuff but I can't imagine what anyone would get out of a relationship like that except for lots and lots of practice with a dermal regenerator. Why do people do it? What the hell do they get out of it?
"There is one thing that bugs me: I just can't see Chakotay doing those sorts of things to anyone, especially a lover. So why did he tell me to look into this subject? Could he really get off on hurting, degrading and humiliating people? I know he gets off on being in charge. Still, if he *does* like doing this kind of thing, then I'd better get my head examined because my sexual radar has to be malfunctioning badly." He paused for a moment then resumed, "The more I think about it, the more I trust my gut and that's telling me I'm not nuts: Chakotay wouldn't be like that.
"So what is it then? I feel like I'm missing a vital piece of a large, intricate 3D jigsaw puzzle." He heaved a huge sigh and rubbed his eyes. "I guess I have more reading to do, besides, my ass is thawing out and this chair is becoming uncomfortable. Maybe some tomato soup would help. Nah, it would only remind me that my ass was the same color not too long ago. I think I'll skip the soup this time. More later."
I downed my remaining wine with a huge gulp and went to get a refill. This was getting very interesting. My curiosity kicked into high gear. I wondered why Tom had even decided to discuss the subject with me when he had such a negative initial reaction to the concept. Well, there was one way to find out.
"Wow. I am blown away. There seems to be a whole lot of stuff that I overlooked earlier. It's still kinky but not at all creepy like that pain and bondage shit. It's all about something called a power exchange. I'm going to have to study up on this. It's sounds really interesting. I scanned a few case studies and basic scenes these people do and OK, some of them were too heavy for my tastes but some of the others.... Uh, let's just say that I'm getting hard just thinking about them.
"A couple of things came close to my secret fantasies...the ones I don't dwell on too much because they're too intense. I'll admit there are a few things I wouldn't mind trying. I'd have to have it be a certain way though. I also don't think I could do it with just any lover. It's too personal. It would have to be someone I really trusted. I wonder if Chakotay knows that? I'll have to ask him tomorrow. In fact, there's a ton of stuff I'm going to ask him. End log."
I stopped the vid at this point and put it away. Tom would be home soon and I needed some time to process what I'd learned. I relaxed on the sofa and finished my wine. My mind drifted back to that long discussion we'd had following his reading. He *had* asked lots of questions and I guess he liked my answers or we wouldn't be living the way we were now.
I tried to picture us in a conventional relationship but all I could see was a pale shadow, without the depth of passion that we now shared. Our chosen way of life predicated a level of trust and a deep understanding of both each other and ourselves that isn't obtainable in many other kinds of relationships. The structure of our lives gave us a framework in which to explore our depths. I knew it would change over time as we changed and grew as people. For now though it served an important purpose and I had no regrets, only prayers of thanksgiving that we'd been allowed to find each other.
Taking my wine glass to the recycler, I asked the time.
I still had a few minutes to kill. A quick sonic shower would do the trick. I hopped in and out and went back to the living area, waiting for Tom to arrive. I wanted to know what he thought about our lives. Did he ever contemplate the alternative? The conventional way of doing it?
Sighing, I waited. My mind kept going round in circles; all I'd seen of his vid so far had made me uncertain. I just wanted to hold him. I needed to have him near me.
I was so lost in my thoughts that when he finally came through the door in a rush, I didn't even bother to check the time. I knew he was late but I didn't care. I was just glad that he was home.
He zoomed into the bedroom and then zoomed out again sans clothing. I looked up at him as he hovered by my side waiting for me to pronounce judgement. I patted the couch next to me and he sat down hesitantly.
I took his hand in mine and just stared at it. He sensed the difference in my attitude and instantly shifted into his protective mode, like he did when I'd been injured.
Silently he looked at me, waiting to see what I would do or say. I moved then, forcing him over to the very edge of the couch until I had room to lie down full length. I slipped my robe off and then pulled him to lie on top of me. I threw my robe over the both of us and ordered the lights down to 25 percent.
I kissed him and held him tightly. I wanted to talk, to ask him if how we were together was as satisfying to him as it was to me. But something prevented me from finding the words and all I could do was cling to him.
He listened to me; to my body. I could tell. He heard my breath, my pulse, my thought processes. Still I couldn't speak, not yet. After a few minutes, he whispered, "Are you all right? Can you talk to me now?"
"Yes and not yet. In that order."
"Why? What did I do? Was it because I was late getting back here?"
"No, that's not it," I said softly as I rubbed his back and shoulders, feeling the silken softness of his fair skin under my hands. I swear I could sometimes feel his color or rather the lack of it, with my fingertips. Every single freckle felt like that old-fashioned language for the blind.
"Then what's wrong?" he whispered.
"Nothing, really. It's just that watching your vid, with you telling me about how you felt early on made me think. Tom, I want to know if you wish we hadn't done what we have." I let out the remainder of the deep breath I'd been holding.
"I don't understand Cha. Explain it to me."
"I mean the control issues and the discipline. Would you rather be in a nice, conventional relationship? One where you could talk to people about everything?"
He sighed. "No. I've thought about it at times but it wouldn't work for me now, not when I've experienced all that I have so far. I can't imagine not doing the things we do. The feeling I get when I'm with you is so incredible. I don't have the words to describe it but I can tell you that I don't ever want to give it up. I feel closer to you than I've ever felt to anyone. I don't want to lose that."
"So you're OK with everything we do? You don't want me to throw the strap out the nearest airlock and ease up in the discipline department?"
"No, I don't. For some strange reason I need that. Maybe some day I won't but right now I do. You're fair about it and it's never been excessive. When I screw up, you punish me and that's it. It's over and done with and I can move on and not carry any guilt around. Besides, you always take good care of me afterwards and then usually we make love. For me, that's when I feel closest to you: it's like we're one person." He kissed me gently then reached for my right hand and kissed each fingertip then the palm.
"I get that feeling too, sometimes. It happens when I'm so focused on you that I can't think of anything else."
We lay there quietly for a while, thinking our own thoughts until he softly said, "Cha, I got home late tonight."
"I know you did but I don't know how late you were," I replied.
"I was eight minutes late. I'm sorry. I should have paid closer attention to the time."
"Eight minutes, huh?"
"Yeah. I checked the time when I was getting undressed. Are you going to do something about it?"
"What do you expect me to do?" I asked.
He laid his cheek on my shoulder and whispered, "I expect you to put me over your knee and warm up my rear end so that I'll remember not to do it again."
"And then what?" I shifted under him and felt his cock grow.
"Then I want you to fuck me like you promised to earlier." He kissed me again and rubbed against me sensuously.
"I see. Hmm, I think that can be arranged."
So he wanted to be spanked and fucked. I wondered fleetingly if he had come home late on purpose. He knew being a few minutes late wouldn't warrant the strap.
This was as close as he'd ever come to asking for it directly. He couldn't articulate his penchant for spankings and I doubted that he ever would.
He stopped kissing me long enough to murmur, "Will you do it now?" He wiggled in my arms and I felt his cock harden even more.
Oh, he wanted it badly tonight. I cupped his ass cheeks in my hands and squeezed, forcing a low moan from him.
I answered, "In a few minutes, Tom. We'll do it then."
I let my fingers explore between his cheeks and he obligingly spread his legs for me. I fondled his ass and thighs feeling my own cock begin to swell. I shifted us onto our sides and he threw a leg over my hip.
We kissed and caressed each other without haste. It was a slow build-up, a gentle rising of passion. I patted his ass softly and he squirmed in anticipation of the real thing. He knew I knew he wanted it and that knowledge made him a little uncomfortable.
I stroked his chest reassuringly and he sighed. I tweaked a nipple and he grinned. Then I leaned forward and captured his lower lip with my teeth. I teased him, slipping my tongue into his mouth and out again. Finally, I pulled away to look into his eyes and said, "I'm going to punish you now."
His eyes widened and I watched the pupils dilate even more. He rose to his knees and sat on his heels to my right waiting for me to be seated. I pulled on my robe and closed it tightly then settled in the exact center of the couch. With a single glance at me he moved into position. I reached around him and shifted his cock and balls out of the way not wanting a stray swat to do any harm and also not allowing him the ability to rub against my leg.
"Are you ready?"
I raised my hand and brought it down hard leaving a handprint on his right cheek. I did it again, this time aiming for the left one. High and low, inner and outer, with exactly eight hard swats I covered the area that needed it and generated the heat he craved.
When I stopped he looked back at me and asked, "Is that it? Are we done?"
"Yes. We're done. You were only eight minutes late. You got one swat for each minute."
"Oh." He looked surprised, as if he hadn't been counting.
I helped him up and then rose to stand beside him. I caressed his ass with one hand and his cock with the other. Keeping my hands on him, I nudged him in the direction of the bedroom. He went eagerly and we walked to the bed. I had him stand there while I called for lights and looked him over from head to toe.
"I want you to stay quiet this time."
"I also want you to keep your hands wherever I put them. You may not touch me."
He nodded again, a flash of surprise crossing his face.
"Lie down on your back and stay as still as you can."
As he did so, I removed my robe and stood watching him from the foot of the bed.
"Spread your legs." Oh yes, this was much better. There he was, all splayed out for me to look at. I moved his hands away from his sides and then looked at him some more, deciding where to start.
He watched me like a hawk trying to guess what I would do.
I climbed over him and lay beside him placing my leg over his, trapping his cock between us. I leaned over and kissed him, a long, slow exploration of the sweetness of his mouth.
I moved his hands over his head and held them together with one of my own. My free hand played with his chest, my nails trailing lightly over his nipples, my fingers absently tugging a chest hair or two.
This was not going to be a quickie. I'd been waiting all day for this opportunity. That, coupled with the relief I felt that Tom was happy with our relationship at this stage made me want to draw the pleasure out; make it last as long as possible.
I felt that we were getting closer. My watching his vid was creating some side benefits for us. As I moved to suck the soft skin covering a quivering biceps, I wondered just how much more was on that vid. There was a lot I wanted to know.
Tom's breathing speeded up as I licked my way down his outstretched arm to his shoulder. I knew how difficult this was for him, to stay still at my command and let me do as I wished. Most people don't understand the effort involved, the concentration it takes or the feeling of bliss that accompanies surrender.
When I bent my head to lick his right nipple, he twitched once. I blew on the wet skin and observed it contracting, amazed at how wondrous our bodies are. I began to suck the hardened flesh using my teeth on occasion. I increased the pressure on his cock ever so slightly and he gasped.
I moved up again and returned to his lips, allowing him motion with his tongue as we kissed. I moved my leg, freeing his cock and it rose up proudly, begging to be sucked. Before I attended to that needy column of flesh I decided to give Tom a treat.
I stuffed some pillows under his head and moved his arms back down to his sides. Then I sat on his face, so to speak and allowed him to suck my cock for a few minutes. He'd wanted to do it earlier and I'd denied him. Now I let him taste me but not for very long. I moved gently in and out of his mouth, letting the sensation build to exquisite levels.
Finally, I ran my fingers through his hair and whispered, "Enough." I pulled out slowly and he kissed the tip as I departed. He sighed and looked up at me with regret. I knew he wanted to bring off that way but I'd promised to fuck him and he couldn't have both tonight as it was getting late.
I moved down and kissed him, tasting both his sweetness and my salt mingled together in his mouth. After a brief respite I slid down his body coming to rest between his legs. I lowered my head and sucked him into my mouth. I wasn't intending to make him come, not yet. I just wanted to feel that hot, smooth skin against my tongue for a few moments.
Tom's hands were clenched tightly and I knew he couldn't take much more stimulation so I eased off and went for his balls. That was his undoing. He groaned.
I stopped immediately and moved to his side. I flipped him over onto his stomach and slapped his ass saying softly, "Hush. No noise."
He whimpered with frustration and I smacked him again. I thought then that he hadn't had enough earlier so I swatted him twice more and he quieted. Then I ordered, "Get up on your hands and knees."
He complied and I reached for the lube. I spread his cheeks with my left hand and inserted my right index finger inside him. His muscles relaxed as I fingered him. He lowered his head and dropped to his elbows, letting me touch him in the most intimate of ways. It didn't take long before he was ready and I prepared myself.
When I entered him it was as if time stopped. I snaked my arm around him and held him by the waist, pulling him closer to me. I wanted nothing more than to stay like this, joined forever.
I leaned forward and kissed whatever part of him I could reach. I waited until I felt the tension in his body dissipate, only then did I move. I gripped his hips and held him steady as I plowed into him, each thrust becoming more powerful than the last.
It was as if we were made to be together. I felt a sense of rightness about making love to Tom that I'd never encountered with any other lover, male or female. For us, sex truly was a union.
I fucked him for a long, long time. Tom came moments before I did. When I climaxed, it took a lot out of me both physically and mentally but spiritually I felt renewed. I eased out of him, lay on my back and pulled him into my arms. We snuggled silently for a few minutes.
Then, kissing him, I said, "Tell me how it went with the Captain."
"It was OK. We disagreed about the lounge lizards though." He yawned.
"Lounge lizards?" I replied before I ordered the lights out in both rooms.
"Yeah. Don't ask." He yawned again and inquired, "So how far did you get tonight on the vid?"
"Not far enough, love. Not far enough."
TO GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER, CLICK BELOW:
Taming of Tom Paris, Part 13