In Dreams, Part 6


By Britta

*
Tom woke up in a different position than that in which he'd fallen asleep. Now he was being held instead of doing the holding. It didn't much matter to him, as long as he felt this good.
*
He sensed dampness. His cheek lay on Chakotay's chest as strong arms encircled him. He moved his head and opened his eyes only to find a small puddle where his mouth had been. Shit, he'd drooled in his sleep.
*
Feeling like an idiot, his tongue snaked out to lick it up. Hmm, the skin underneath tasted pretty good. About four licks later, the drool back where it belonged, he kept going. Moving downward, he encountered a nipple. Ah, something nice to chew on.
*
Half-asleep, his brain not yet fully engaged, he let his body do what it wanted. He was vaguely aware of the fact that his ass was throbbing but it wasn't unpleasant; just a reminder of what they'd done.
*
Hmm, things were looking up, he thought, as his dick twitched. He kept on nibbling and nuzzling, letting his hand slide down Chakotay's body until it reached his cock. He felt it harden in his hand.
*
They needed to take a bath, he thought idly, but not just yet. He kept stroking and slowly moved over to suck Chakotay's other nipple. His languid actions brought forth a rough whisper.
*
"Are you insatiable? Didn't you get enough before?" Sleep-glazed, dark brown eyes leered at him from beneath nearly closed eyelids.
*
Tom grinned as his teeth worried the hard, sweet flesh. His tongue flicked across and back repeatedly, then he bit down.
*
Chakotay's hands flew to his head and held him still. "What do you want, Tom?"
*
"I want you. I want...more."
*
"Do you want my ass?" Chakotay pulled him up and held him tightly.
*
Tom stared down at his CO then kissed him. "Not right now, maybe later."
*
One hand gripped Tom's hip while the other played with the nape of his neck, keeping him close for more delicious kisses.
*
"I want you to suck me," Tom whispered, when his tongue was free.
*
"All right. Come up here."
*
Tom moved into position, his knees on either side of Chakotay's neck. He wadded up a pillow and offered it to the Commander, who promptly stuffed it behind his head.
*
Chakotay's hands guided him into place and held him steady. Tom looked down and watched as his cock was slowly sucked into Chakotay's mouth. Gods, it felt better than he thought possible. Dreams were nothing compared to this. He reached down and felt along Chakotay's jaw and cheek, seeing the movement while his cock was tongued.
*
He fucked the Commander's face gently, not needing more since he'd come twice already that day. This act was one he'd wanted to experience for real ever since it had happened in the green place. He let each and every sensation wash over him one by one. It was slow, tender; a very gradual building toward the peak.
*
Gods, the man knew how to give head. He kept it at a low intensity, waiting for Tom's body to respond. As Tom drew closer to orgasm, Chakotay used his hands to enhance the pleasure his mouth provided.
*
Tom felt a single finger slide easily into his anus while his balls were rubbed and squeezed gently. He thrust a bit harder, feeling the suction increase. Chakotay's teeth added to the stimulation and after a few minutes, he cried out and came.
*
Propping himself up with his hands against the wall above the bed, he felt Chakotay lick him one last time and give his butt a parting pat. Then Tom was pulled down so that he was almost sitting on the man's chest and his hands were held firmly, fingers entwined.
*
"Feel better now?" Chakotay asked softly.
*
Tom raised Chakotay's hands to his lips and kissed them, then moved off Chakotay to kneel by his side. "Yeah. Thanks." He bent down and kissed his new lover on the mouth, wanting to taste himself and Chakotay mixed together.
*
He reached down to stroke Chakotay's cock and found it to be only partially erect. He broke the kiss when Chakotay's hand removed his own and he gazed uncertainly at the older man.
*
Chakotay said in a neutral tone, "Leave it be. Let's get cleaned up and go to lunch."
*
Tom just nodded and got off the bed. He wondered why the mood had been lost. He'd thought that sucking him would turn Chakotay on. Perhaps he tasted better in their dreams or maybe the other man had gotten what he wanted and this was the end of it.
*
Standing there, looking at the First Officer, his defenses snapped back into place and he said flatly, "You can have the shower first."
*
Chakotay rose and replied, "Thanks," then disappeared into the bathroom.
*

++++

*
Standing in the shower, Tom's earlier words, 'I owe you this' came back to haunt him and Chakotay willed the last of his erection to disappear. This being in debt thing bothered him. It was also a real mood killer. He hoped that Tom would take the blowjob as payment for having his ass fucked. He disliked the fact that Tom only allowed himself to be taken because of a bargain he'd made while they were in the green place, dreaming.
*
It would've been a lot more fulfilling for him if Tom had wanted it as much as he had. Damn. His emotions were getting in the way again. This was Paris he was thinking about. Tom was into this sexual attraction scenario only because of outside influences. Yes, Tom had some emotional needs as well but he had no idea if they would last longer than the time between Tom's orgasms.
*
Sighing with exasperation, he shut off the shower and turned his attention outward. What was happening with the rest of the crew? How was the Captain faring? And what of the other high-risk candidates, Seven and Chell?
*
Spirits, here he'd been indulging himself in a sensual interlude while neglecting his duty. What kind of an officer was he? Drying himself, he could only think he was being supremely selfish, something he decided to remedy very quickly.
*
He stepped out of the bathroom and let Tom inside. He donned his uniform swiftly and checked on the location of the Captain. She was still in the mess hall. If he hurried, maybe he could catch up with her.
*
Poking his head into the bathroom, he shouted, "Tom, I'm going to try to meet with the Captain over lunch. I'll see you later, okay?"
*
"Okay!" Tom answered. A trace of tears reflecting his feelings of anger, rejection and disappointment mingled with the water that ran down his face.
*

++++

*
Shoving his negative feelings aside and attributing them to the force of whatever was governing their lives at the moment, Tom got dressed. He opted for casual clothing since he wasn't on duty anymore and didn't know when he would be again.
*
Sighing as he tugged a shirt cuff over the monitor on his wrist, he debated whether to go to the mess hall or not. Did he really want to watch the Commander and the Captain eat a meal together again?
*
Before he could make up his mind, his door chimed. Hoping it might be Chakotay, he called out, "Come."
*
Harry Kim entered Tom's quarters looking a bit nervous.
*
"Hi, Harry. What's new with you?" Tom asked.
*
His best friend stared at him and replied, "I think that's my question."
*
"What do you mean?" Tom tried to deflect his friend's curiosity but couldn't quite manage it.
*
Harry glanced toward the bedroom and sniffed audibly.
*
Tom then realized that his quarters reeked of sex. Shit. He'd forgotten to engage the air exchangers. Pretending that the rooms didn't smell, he said, "I haven't had lunch yet. Are you hungry?"
*
"Not anymore. I just came by to see how you were." Harry stood his ground and would not let Tom off the hook.
*
Blushing, Tom inquired, "Do you mind if I have something to eat?"
*
"No. I do want you to explain to me why both you and the Commander are wearing monitors and have been relieved of duty, though." Harry pulled a chair up to the table and waited.
*
Tom replicated a large bowl of tomato soup and sat down. "It's because of the 'buddy system'." He spooned a mouthful of soup into place and gasped at the heat.
*
Harry waited while Tom fanned his burnt tongue, then asked, "Are you sleeping with Chakotay?"
*
Tom coughed and shook his head. "That's a relative word." He drank some ice-water and hoped he wouldn't have to use a dermal regenerator in his mouth...those things tickled on very sensitive flesh.
*
"What's a 'relative' word--sleeping?" Harry appeared to be genuinely curious.
*
"No. The relative word is 'are'. I've only slept with him once and I doubt it will happen again." Tom slugged down more cold water and changed the subject. "So, tell me what's going on. Who's your buddy? Have you managed to convince Jenny that Megan is the one for you?"
*
Harry grimaced. "No way. I can't get near either one of them. Since the Doctor's pronouncement last night, they've been incommunicado."
*
Tom's interest perked up. "Oh, yeah? So what have you been doing...to, uh, follow the Doctor's orders?" He allowed his usual wide grin to appear.
*
Distracted, Harry reached out and sipped some of Tom's water. "Um, nothing. Really." He set the glass aside.
*
"Come on, Har. Who is it?" Tom wheedled. "I saw how B'Elanna was looking at you during the staff meeting this morning."
*
Harry blushed hard and stared into Tom's soup bowl.
*
Rising, Tom engaged the air freshener and fetched another spoon.
*
Within seconds, the only scent remaining was that of tomato soup. He wondered why Harry was blushing. What could have happened to him in the last few hours?
*
Harry helped himself to Tom's lunch and the two of them ate silently. As the last of the soup disappeared, Harry laid his spoon aside and stated seriously, "B'Elanna wants me."
*
Tom's eyebrows climbed upward. "She does?" He paused as Harry frowned. "Do you want her? Is that why you're here instead of in the mess hall?"
*
"Yes. No. I mean...I was worried about you and, well, I also needed to get away from her." Harry seemed embarrassed but bravely went on, "It's just that I needed a break."
*
Tom cleared the table, his own worries forgotten for the moment, then prompted his distraught friend to continue. "A break? I don't get it. Why were you two together? Did she call you down to Engineering or what?"
*
Harry rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "No. She opted to stay on the bridge with the rest of us and then she decided to 'help' me increase the range of the sensors."
*
Tom waited patiently and refilled the water glass. Harry appeared to be really upset about this but he wasn't sure what he could do, except lend an ear.
*
Taking a huge swallow of water, Harry set his expression and explained. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be trapped under the Ops console with a half-Klingon constantly growling at you?"
*
Mastering the smile that threatened to burst forth, Tom replied calmly, "No. I don't." He reached for the glass of water and sipped.
*
Harry frowned and muttered, "Consider yourself lucky." He leaned over the table and confessed, "She scares me, Tom. I'm afraid I'll wind up scarred from head to toe if I let her anywhere near me."
*

++++

*
Chakotay entered the mess hall and caught up with the Captain only moments before she was ready to return to the bridge.
*
"What are you doing here, Commander?" She appeared surprised to see him.
*
He replied evenly, "I needed to find out how everyone was. I want to know how Seven and Chell are doing. I want to know how *you* are." He sat down across from her and gave every appearance of 'one who would not be budged'.
*
She smiled the smile that meant 'I'm humoring you' and responded, "I'm fine. Seven and Chell have found each other to be rather fascinating. They've been spending all their time in the cargo bay discussing the color blue and all its connotations." She rose from the table, intent on leaving.
*
Chakotay reached for her arm and said, "Kathryn, I'm worried about you. How have you been affected by this and what are you doing to deal with it?"
*
Lowering her lunch tray, she sighed and disregarded the Doctor's orders not to burden her XO with details in order to reduce his stress levels. She sat down again and explained calmly, "I've not been affected since last night."
*
"Why not?" the Commander inquired curiously.
*
Janeway pushed her tray aside. "Tuvok has initiated a light mental link with me. It helps keep me focused and in balance. It also gives him the psychic companionship he needs."
*
Chakotay looked at her and replied, "I see. What of the other Vulcans aboard?"
*
"They each have found someone who is willing to give up a bit of their mental privacy in exchange for emotional stability. If you don't believe me, Chakotay, just ask the Doctor. Being connected to Tuvok in this manner has been of great benefit to us both."
*
"I believe you." Chakotay smiled at her and she smiled back. He then watched the Captain, more serene than he'd ever seen her, walk out of the mess hall.
*
Spirits, how he envied her newly found tranquility.
*

++++

*
Tom clapped Harry on the back as he walked him out the door. "Don't worry, everything will work out. As soon as you find that anomaly, I'll plot a course away from it and things will go back to normal."
*
Harry shot him a skeptical glance and said, "Mm hmm. Whatever you say, Tom. Thanks for the soup."
*
Tom smiled his most confident smile until the door closed, then he let the happy face slip away. He didn't know what to do. The Doctor had told him to stick to Chakotay like glue and he'd tried but now the Commander was off having lunch with the Captain and he didn't feel he could stand watching that.
*
Flopping down on the couch, he thought about what Harry had told him, which wasn't much. It was too early to find out the good gossip. That would have to wait until tonight.
*
Sighing with impatience, he turned over to lie on his stomach. Arms pillowed beneath his head, he stared out at the stars and wondered what to do next.
*

++++

*
A tray filled with food slid onto the table in front of him, surprising Chakotay. He looked up into the smiling face of Neelix. Before he could question the Talaxian's actions, he was handed a cup of tea.
*
"Here you are, Commander. Eat and enjoy." Neelix beamed at him and waited until he sampled the meal placed in front of him.
*
A careful bite of the purple blob on his plate produced a small grin. It tasted like warm, grape-flavored gelatin. Not too bad at all. He swallowed. "Thank you, Neelix."
*
"You are quite welcome." Neelix smiled some more.
*
Chakotay sipped some tea, helping the purpleness slide down his throat and asked, "You seem very happy today; any particular reason why?"
*
Neelix looked around carefully, bent down and said quietly, "I'm happier now than I've been since Kes left. I'm not alone anymore." He patted the Commander's shoulder.
*
Chakotay watched, bemused, as Neelix bustled back to his kitchen, whistling, and wondered who their chef was seeing. Turning his head to stare at his lunch, he considered that so far, he'd seen some very content people. It was a good sign. Perhaps the crew would get through this without too much difficulty.
*
Scooping up another spoonful of purple stuff, he refused to think about his own state of mind and chewed.
*

++++

*
Tom lay on his couch and felt his emotions shut down completely. He attempted to recall the amusement he felt at Harry's description of being wooed by B'Elanna but nothing came to mind.
*
He stared out the viewport and saw nothing, felt nothing. It was restful in a way. He didn't have to contend with all the emotional chaos that had been plaguing him for so long.
*
There was a downside, of course, in that he missed the warm, loving feeling that he used to get in his dreams. But, now that he knew what it was all about, he couldn't count on it happening ever again.
*
Saddened by that loss, he closed his eyes and tried to remember what it felt like.
*

++++

*
Chakotay watched as the mess hall emptied. He ate his purple lunch and deposited his tray and utensils into the appropriate places then went back to his table.
*
He waved at Neelix, who was the last to leave then relaxed. Being alone for the first time in a long while, he was determined to enjoy it, especially because he hadn't hallucinated once.
*
He felt almost normal for a change. Secure in the knowledge that the crew and Captain were handling the situation well, he thought he wouldn't have to worry too much anymore. The underlying tension left his muscles and he swung his legs up to rest on a nearby chair.
*

++++

*
Tom stared at the stars and felt the coldness of space surround him. He knew that stars were hot and he wondered about that. Why were there such hot points of light just hanging in a cold, empty vacuum? What made it happen that way?
*
Like warm-blooded creatures that lived in Earth's cool oceans...except that not all of the oceans were cold. Were there areas of space somewhere that drew stars to them? Could stars migrate?
*
Suddenly realizing that he was thinking pure nonsense, he shook his head and sat up. Shit. Lying around doing nothing wasn't helping matters. He rose and checked on the location of the Captain.
*
She was on the bridge. He then checked on everyone else he was interested in and found Harry and B'Elanna in Engineering while Chakotay was in the mess hall.
*
Well, perhaps it was time to be a buddy again. Grabbing his badge, he went off to do his duty.
*

++++

*
Chakotay sat comfortably, undisturbed by the silence and decided that this was as close to meditating as he dared to get. He missed it. But still, he was afraid of trying it and becoming trapped again.
*
For now, he just allowed his mind to wander a little.
*
Before he knew it, the stars outside had transformed themselves into winged creatures that flew through the sky of the green place. He blinked and discovered himself in yet another version of his and Tom's psychic meeting ground.
*
The creatures that flew above him were iridescent. Their flight patterns were random and therefore mesmerizing. Chakotay walked carefully around the now uneven ground and he wondered why this place kept changing.
*
The contours of the landscape were much rougher than before. The trees were still there but didn't feel like the giant protectors that they used to be.
*
As he walked, the sky darkened and the flying creatures disappeared. The wind kicked up swiftly and it began to rain. The water poured down in sheets. One of the smaller leaves, about the size of a dinner plate, gusted toward him and plastered itself across his face.
*
Momentarily blinded, he stopped in his tracks and wondered where this storm had come from. Peeling the leaf from his face, he looked around trying to find shelter. A huge tree appeared just off to his left and he ran toward it.
*
It was cold here. Much colder than it had ever been before. He reached the haven the tree provided and sat down at its base. Suddenly, he recognized this tree as his own. It was there because he wanted and needed it to be.
*
With this realization came a large, dry leaf that fell at his feet like a blanket from the heavens. He knew then that he *could* make things happen here.
*
Chilled to the bone, he wrapped himself up tightly and watched as the storm raged just beyond his personal borders. Where was Tom? Was he causing this riot of emotional weather?
*
Chakotay pondered that for a moment and as his thoughts became more rational, he wondered if he had done something to precipitate this. Was it his fault? How much of the weather here depended on Tom's emotional state? Or his own?
*
As he encountered these concepts, the wind died down completely and the rain ended. All became calm. Too calm. It was as if time stopped. Nothing moved. There wasn't even the tiniest of breezes.
*
Suddenly, it seemed he couldn't find any air to breathe. Where was Tom? He needed him to be here...he couldn't handle this alone.
*

++++

*
Tom entered the mess hall and headed for the lone occupant, his face expressing none of his feelings. He approached the Commander and stood by his side. The man didn't seem to notice.
*
Glancing down, Tom wished Chakotay would at least acknowledge him. His feelings changed to concern when he bent down and looked into Chakotay's unblinking eyes.
*
Puzzled, he gripped the Commander's shoulder and shook him. "Chakotay? Are you okay?" Frowning, he shook him again.
*
Slowly the eyelids lowered and when they opened again, Tom saw the brown eyes refocus. He sighed in relief as the Commander's hand came up to rest over his own. "Where were you?" Tom inquired.
*
"I was in our place, only this time it wasn't very pleasant. You weren't there." Chakotay sounded defeated and a little lost as well. He took Tom's hand and rose to his feet.
*
Tom wasn't sure what to do. "I think maybe the Doc ought to have a look at you. Let's go to Sickbay." He began to pull Chakotay in the direction of the door.
*
"Wait." The Commander tugged Tom closer to him and asked quietly, "Would you just hold me for a minute?"
*
Tom nodded and let himself be pulled into a hug. Something weird must have happened, he thought. Closing his eyes, he held the man tightly, enjoying the feeling while it lasted. It seemed that so much had changed in such a short time. Things were getting worse; the situation between them more intense.
*
He waited until he felt some of the tension leave the older man, then stepped back a little and said, "Let's go."
*
Chakotay reached for Tom's face and brought him down for a gentle kiss. "Thank you."
*
Before he could answer, his badge beeped. "Paris here."
*
"Lieutenant," came the Captain's voice, "I have been unable to contact Commander Chakotay. Is he with you?"
*
"Yes, ma'am. There must be something wrong with his badge."
*
"Are you both all right?"
*
"Yes, Captain, we're fine," Tom answered with more confidence than he felt.
*
"Good. I want you both to report to my Ready Room immediately. We've found something."
*
"On our way. Paris out." He looked at Chakotay with a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes. "I guess Sickbay will have to wait."
*
Chakotay managed a small grin. "I guess it will."
*
Hand in hand, they left the mess hall.

END OF PART SIX

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In Dreams, Part 7